U98 – Questions, and Answers in Verse
This is a call to all you lovers of music – twisting its way towards us this Saturday is the sole Underground show this month, and in its 98th incarnation no less. So, we decided to really throw a curveball to the five performing bands this time round. We asked them a bunch of questions, with just one simple rule – they could only answer using lyrics of existing songs (even their own, if it so applied.) We culled out some pretty fascinating interpretations of the questions, and interesting answers (including separate sets from two of the David Bowie Knives). Read on to find out more…
1. What was your life like before you started playing music?
Bank Job:
I don’t wanna be an old man anymore
It’s been a year or two since I was down on the floor
Shakin’ booty, making sweet love all the night
It’s time I got back to the good life – Weezer, The Good Life
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: …In the kitchen, mixin’ with pots and pans – Sharon, Lois and Bram
Shaun: I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter! – The Prodigy, Firestarter
Kisses from My Grandpa:
You tried so hard to be someone that you forgot who you are
You tried to fill some emptiness till all you have spilled over
Now everything is so far away that you don’t know where you are
You are – Hold On, Jet
Space Edge:
I’m bored
I’m the chairman of the bored… – Iggy Pop, I’m Bored
ToNick:
To Be a Better Man – Robbie Williams
2. What has music meant to you in your life?
Bank Job:
He said, “How many songs did you write?”
I’d written zero, I lied and said, “Ten.” – Lou Reed, Work
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down – Mary Poppins
Shaun: A wom ba ba lula, a wom bam boo! – Little Richard
Kisses from My Grandpa:
Grace – Eskju Divine
Your Hand In Mine – Explosions In The Sky
Space Edge:
Whoohoo! – Blur – Song #2
ToNick:
It’s My Life – Bon Jovi
3. What’s the best part of being a performer for you?
Bank Job:
I’m waving my dick in the wind… – Ween, Waving My Dick in the Wind
.
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of their women – Conan’s Greatest Hits Volume Yauuuughhh!!!
Shaun: These are crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy nights! – Kiss
Kisses from My Grandpa:
So Far Away – Staind
Space Edge:
I found my thrill on blueberry hill… – Blueberry Hill, Louis Armstrong
ToNick:
Nothing Else Matters – Metallica
4. Describe your happiest feelings…
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: I was made for lovin’ you baby, You were made for lovin’ me – KISS
Shaun: That face, that kiss. All covered in my sticky white love piss! – tDBK
Kisses from My Grandpa:
“Love is watching someone die” – Death Cab for Cutie, What Sarah Said
Friend of the Night – Mogwai
Space Edge:
In Napoli, where love is king, when boy meets girl here’s what they say
“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore…” – Dean Martin, That’s Amore
ToNick:
What a Sunny Day – ToNick
5. …and your saddest ones.
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: I’m So Ronery, So Ronery, So Ronery and Sadry Arone – Kim Jung Il [from the movie Team America: World Police]
Shaun: Everytime we say goodbye, I cry a little – Irving Berlin
Kisses from My Grandpa:
Enlightenment – Totalselfhatred
Hægt, kemur ljósið – Olafur Arnalds
Space Edge:
I’m a-gonna raise a fuss, I’m a-gonna raise a holler
about a-workin’ all summer just to try to earn a dollar.
Well one time I called my baby, tried to get a date
my boss says, “No dice son, you gotta work late!”
Sometimes I wonder, what I’m agonna do
but there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues.
– Eddie Cochran, Summertime Blues
ToNick:
It’s comedy and tragedy – Green Day, St. Jimmy
6. Imagine you’ve always wanted to re-work a line in a song, and you are now getting the chance to – what would your improved lyrics be?
Bank Job:
“Memories of drinking…” becomes “Marinated chicken…” – Halfdave, Blinder
.
.
.
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: From “There once was a man from Nantucket…” to “there once was a man from Kent, who’s **** was so long it was bent – he put it in folded and when it exploded, Instead of coming, he went!”
Shaun: From- I, I see my ship come in.
But I don’t get in.
No I don’t get in. – tDBK
To
I, I see my dick go in.
But not all the way in.
Because you’re Asian! (J)
Kisses from My Grandpa:
The Human Condition and Quantum Catastrophe – Kisses from My Grandpa
Space Edge:
Original:
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
You’d be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much…
And I thank God I’m alive…etc…
– Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, Frankie Valli
Improved Lyrics:
I’m just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of me
I’m just like heaven to touch
Don’t you wanna get your hand on my crotch?…
And I thank God I’m alive…etc
ToNick:
Change “Smoke on the water” to “Smoke in the Restaurant”
7. Your favourite set of lyrics expressing the following:
a. Anger
Bank Job:
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me – Rage Against the Machine, Killing in the Name
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: Into the core of self, the neuro-axis, I fade
Within the fading core of self I am…..
Gone-bound, lost, away, phased out, non-existing – Concatenation
, Meshuggah
Shaun: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah – Meshuggah!
Kisses from My Grandpa:
Hammer Smashed Face – Cannibal Corpse
Space Edge:
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
You’d be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much…
And I thank God I’m alive…etc – Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, Frankie Valli
ToNick:
Don’t Look Back in Anger – Oasis
b. Confusion
Bank Job:
Super acorns think they’re coconuts – Bank Job, Newsbeat
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: Kickstand you got loose and I threw up — Soundgarden
Shaun: I know what I am and I bet I’m a man and so is Lola – The Kinks
Kisses from My Grandpa:
Bleed and Rational Gaze – Meshuggah
Space Edge:
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
You’d be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much…
And I thank God I’m alive…etc – Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, Frankie Valli
ToNick:
Get Over it – Eagles
c. Indifference
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: I went down to the beach and saw Kiki, she was all like EHHH and I’m like whatever – Liam Lynch
Shaun: You know they don’t give a fuck about anybody else – Super Furry Animals
.
Kisses from My Grandpa:
I Don’t Care – Apocalyptica
Lost Angels – Lamb of God
Space Edge:
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
You’d be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much…
And I thank God I’m alive…etc – Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, Frankie Valli
ToNick:
I want to be the minority don’t need your authority
Down with the moral majority
Cause I want to be the minority – Green Day, Minority
d. Attitude
Bank Job:
We’ll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend – MGMT, Time to Pretend
.
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: That’s the way, Uh-huh uh-huh, I like it — KC and the Sunshine Band
Shaun: I am a rock. I am an island – Simon & Garfunkel
Kisses from My Grandpa:
Stand up for rock and roll, forget about the neighbours and let them cry all night – Stand up for Rock ‘n’ Roll, Airbourne
Sound of Muzak – Porcupine Tree
Space Edge:
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
You’d be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much…
And I thank God I’m alive…etc – Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, Frankie Valli
ToNick:
We will Rock You – Queen
8. Just for fun, a weird set of lyrics that you happen to like:
Bank Job:
I say tomato, you say don’t drop it on the floor – Bank Job, Strait Jacket
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: Lay that pistol down, babe, lay that pistol down. Pistol-packin’ momma, lay that pistol down – Bing Crosby
Shaun: Oooo rye, toooo rye, oooo rye, tooo rye, A! – Dexys Midnight Runners
Kisses from My Grandpa:
Lazarus – Porcupine Tree
Space Edge:
I got my head checked
By a jumbo jet
It wasn’t easy but nothing is
No
When I feel heavy metal
And I’m pins and I’m needles
Well, I lie and I’m easy
All the time but I am never sure
why I need you
Pleased to meet you
I got my head done
When I was young
It’s not my problem
It’s not my problem – Blur, Song #2
ToNick:
Woo….. Woo….. Woo…… – Music breaks of many songs
9. Finally, lyrics you think describe you perfectly:
Bank Job:
He wants to be an actor, now he’s acting really strange – Montana, Closing Time
The David Bowie Knives
Gabe: Like a rhinestone cowboy — Glen Campbell
Shaun: Stop! Hammer time!!! – MC Hammer
Kisses from My Grandpa:
Irreversive Entropy and In Retrospect – Dying Process
Fade to Black – Metallica
Space Edge:
To change the mood a little
I’ve been posing down the pub
On seeing my reflection
I’m looking slightly rough
I fancy this I fancy that
I wanna be so flash
I give a little muscle
And I spend a little cash
But all I get is bitter
And a nasty little rash
And by the time I’m sober
I’ve forgotten what I’ve had
And everybody tells me
That it’s cool to be a cat
It’s cool for cats. – Cool for Cats, Squeeze
ToNick:
Creep – Radio Head
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Interview by Shashwati Kala
